Yes, hell is a bad word..

So, there's a song making the rounds by American rejects (I think?) called Gives you hell. Obviously I try to skip this when the little ones are in the car. However, they stayed in the car w/ Reid while I ran back into the house for something the other day & as luck would have it..that song was on. When I got in the car I changed it. Reagan was the first to ask why. " Is hell a bad word Mommy?" "Well, it depends on how you use it. That song isn't very nice." We went on our merry way & I thought the subject was closed. Until we arrived at Academy. Reagan hopped out of the car & raised his arms really high. Then he proceeded to shout "What the hell is up everybody?" I had to hide my combination of shock, embarrassment & humor to explain why he couldn't scream "What the hell is up?".

My kids Pediatrician is my BFF

I see my kids Pedi more than anyone else on the face of the planet. My kids know when we're headed that way & start screaming in the car. "I don't want a finger prick, I don't need a shot. I'll be good." **I'm a horrible mother because on several occasions I've told my kids if they're not still & quiet, they will get worse & have to go get another shot.** We always start w/ a rapid strep & more often than not, it's positive Yeah!! If there was some kind of medical bingo, we'd always win. I see her so much I feel I should bring her something when we go. Wine, roses, candy? Then I remember it's $20.00-$30.00 a pop everytime I go per kid..DANG!! No wonder she always has the cooloest shoes. She appreciates my business though because I get a HUGE bag of samples, goodies, coupons & she calls me back from her own cell..no call block. I'm her biggest client so she has to woo me. So sad, but I'll take it. I know all the nurses by 1st name & they know us. Three more visits on my punch card & I get to use the V.I.P. section. Woo-hoo!!

Some High School kids aren't useless

**ANNOYING ALERT: I will randomly drop the word cool several times.** I'm not cool anymore. I digress, I'm not 9 year old cool. I don't even know which Puma's are ugly & which ones are awesome. Shoe shopping with my son has taught me a few things. A- Guys do care about shoes. B- They get so overwhelmed one pair is all they can handle at a time. C- They truly have no clue about the cost of a shoe determining the look of said shoe. Reid likes all white. He knows I will not budge on this so he tries to pick shoes with the most visible section of white. For some reason white leather,vinyl/polyester is way more expensive. Forget about how dirty white shoes get as soon as you walk in them. They are cool. Which leads me to another issue. The amount of white on your kids shoe is proportionate to the amount of red clay/dirt they have at your kids school. Guess how much our school has? So, the coolest pair of Puma's had one teeny tiny infinitesimal stripe of black. "What about this pair?" Nope. "But Mo-o-o-om. It's the only cool one!!" Of course it is. "All the other ones are ugly." Hmm-mm. I see. Easily distracted as 9 yr olds are I point out, I think, another cool pair. I get the eye roll & sigh. Which, by the way has made vast improvements since my youth. The eye roll itself has gotten soooo big it could easily be mistaken for a seizure...from a novice parent of course. Adidas & Nike's have apparently had their run. No longer cool, they sat being ignored. He finally saw a pair that I was willing to get. Until I saw the price. I don't pay $90.00 for my shoes!! They were cool however. Oddly enough there just happened to be a pair underneath them that was exactly the same. The only difference was it had no white at all. The 1 inch piece of leather had been dyed black. This made that shoe uncool. It also made it $49.99. While Reid was looking for other shoes I grabbed the nearest, cutest high school couple I could find. "Hi, how are you?' Great. "I'm not strange. I promise. One day you'll understand. Blah, blah, blah. Can you walk over there in a minute & tell that cute kid you like these shoes?" Sure, I used to do the same thing to my mom, blah, blah, blah. "Thanks." A few seconds later Abercrombie & Fitch said they liked the shoe..BAM! We're done shopping. We now have a black pair of Puma's & one pair of Adidas as well. (Abercrombie said she liked Adidas).

Valentine's Day

In recent years I've gone practical w/ V-day. I appreciate original, usefull items. So this year I got the boys each 10 of their new favorite songs for their ipod, a shirt, new flashlights, matchbox cars & candy. They loved it. Hubby got a new wisk & some kitchen knife that can cut through anything. In return I got taken to lunch, flowers & money for shopping. OH.. & time to shop all by myself. FUN!! The boys were actually sweet to each other that day. No fighting & lots of hugs. That was my actual gift & I enjoyed it so much!!

Is it crazy in here or is it just me?

I'm baaaack. Baseball practice started which means I said goodbye to my life. Why do these coaches do this? I have 2 kids. practice at 2 different places & of course different days. Men are responsible for this I just know it. A woman would have designated practice times staggered at many levels with coordinating times & drinks. But alas, a man is in charge. They seem allergic to common sense sometimes. Sports & thoughts of championship trophy's cloud their judgment. I cut them slack only because I myself, have behaved that way at numerous sales. But all of this means I've had to shift schedules, ask for help, & stop my horrible procrastination habit. Drats!! Forced to find a positive I've learned baseball wears kids out. Like falling asleep at the table, face in the food, sleeping in the next morning...exhausted. Can I get a AMEN?? Ha. Aside from the crazy baseball parents it's fun. BTW- Is it assault to crush Xanax or Valium in a brownie & serve it to these freaks? I mean it's almost my civic duty. Like taking keys from a drunk driver. It couldn't hurt might help? Their kids future apparently hinges on practice. Since there are so many scouts at Instructional T-Ball I guess I'm the lazy parent. Reagan's glove has seen about as much action as...well, you get the point. I thought I was paying these people to teach him? I am wrong. He's supposed to know all these things already? He's 5. He can barely dress himself, catching a flyball is nowhere on this kids radar. So come game time Reagan will be the kid picking flowers in the outfield. Hopefully the brownies will be ready & the crazy parents won't notice.